Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Did you just see the Batmobile???
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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