i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
