I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
