FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
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