1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
my poor anus
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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