you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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