This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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