I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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