i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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