I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
