just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
