what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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