It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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