Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
