i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
