im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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