Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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