Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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