i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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