woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
