So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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