I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
