theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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