Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
