They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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