You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
whose parrot is this?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
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