my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
