She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
