I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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