Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
