But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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