Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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