absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
