So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
