I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
