ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Sacagawea was the original milf.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
my poor anus
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
