someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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