I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
