i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
