Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
