The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize