Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
