we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
