and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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