Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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