Ketchup is God's man juice
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
