NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
