Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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