Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize