PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
