My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
