I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
