So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
