so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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