Already got asked if we're dating
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
