its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
